NEWS ARCHIVES (1997-1998)

The Confused  3/17/3025  !BloodyScavenger

Well, after some major repair work and remodeling, the EMA News Center is back in business.  For those of you that are uninformed, some disgruntled individuals bombed the EMA News Center.  But these persons were captured and summarily executed along with their entire families.  They were confused individuals.  They thought that somehow by bombing the EMA News Center that they could somehow stop or hurt the EMA.  But they should have known by now that the EMA can not be stopped.  Speaking of confused individuals, another comes to mind.  Ltsg. Cheerio of MAtRiX. Now this guy loves to talk about his beloved honor.  It's always honor this and honor that.  With all of his boasting about honor, he is sure quick to lie and instigate cir*****stances based on deceit.  These actions conflict with his strict code of honor.  Cheerio is another example of a person confused about what he is; therefore he is confused about who others are. He thinks that because the EMA believes that every part of the mech is a target, that they have no honor.  Which is untrue. They have honor and respect for each other and their associates.  Honor is witnessed in your actions regarding your brethren and your friends.  It has nothing to do with how you disable an enemy's mech on the battlefield.

Union of the UnHoly  2/7/3025  !BloodyScavenger

The day started out rather ominously;  clocks ran backwards, fires spontaneously erupted everywhere, blood sprayed from fountains and the sky rained scorpions.  Many recognized these events as the tell-tale signs that something big was going to happen, something horrifying.  And they were right, these signs foretold of an event of cataclysmic magnitudes, for later that same day, two of the EMA's deadliest units would merge.  The Apostles of Carnage and the Disciples of Death merged to become the Disciples of Carnage. With this merger, the clan became the most powerful entity of the innersphere as well as the periphery.  There have been several reports of high ranking officials and soldiers from the five houses, soiling themselves on receipt of the news of the merger. We here at the EMA News Center wish we could offer the Houses some kind of comfort, but we can't.  They're doomed.  The Disciples of Carnage have arrived. 

Invasion of the Life-Takers  1/24/3025  !BloodyScavenger

This Saturday night past, the bloody EMA opened up a can of Whoop Ass and spilled it all over Solaris.  From View Point to Allman and at several points in between, the EMA slashed, burned, and killed all in their path.  The night started with the extermination of some pesky spiders in the RiverFront, the Black Widows.  The EMA tore down the spiders' web and drank their venom like it was soda pop, winning the series of battles 15-5.  Fighting for the EMA were Enraged Clown, 7th Sign, Hunter, and Von Hesig.  The next battle took place in Marik controlled Allman.  !Bloody ScaVenger and Enraged Clown found some more people to kill: Cpl. Luxor and Pvt. Tuebor of MAtRiX.  You may recall, from an article entitled "Fright Night" , these two were tormented once before and were near death when a MAtRiX cruiser rescued them and two others.  Well, Luxor wasn't so lucky this time.  Cpl. Luxor and Pvt. Tuebor were massacred 6-0 in open-class battles.  Their mangled and charred remains are now on display in the horrifying Gallery of Carnage deep inside the Ministry of Carnage.  The next to fall victim to the bloodlust of the EMA were some soldiers from Kurita's Irurzen Prefect.  =IP= proved to be no match for the EMA and were destroyed in what can only be termed a blood bath, 3-0.  The soldiers that drowned in their own blood were Tsgt. Death, Tsgt. Dasilva, Tsgt. Cerano, and Rec. Gen X.  The killers from the EMA were Enraged Clown, !Bloody ScaVenger, 7th Sign, and Al Capone.  Then in a rather comical series of battles, these four killers mutilated GGEDON.  3 GGEDON members were going by the names See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Speak No Evil.  Only Bashar did not use an alias.  All four GGEDON were killed 3-0 in medium class battles.

Then in a grand finale of carnage, the EMA permanently disabled a lance of Borg.  The EMA were ripping out Borg eye pieces, chopping off Borg arms, and, in general, putting a hurt on the Borg Collective.  The EMA crushed the Borg 10-2 in battles ranging from light class to assault class.  In one memorable battle from the series, the Borg got boxed in behind a bunker.  The EMA effortlessly blasted them to oblivion.  It was like shooting fish in a barrel.  The drones that were permanently severed from the Collective were 1Technician, 7Grey Death, 5Handle, and 16Enniroc.  Again, fighting for the EMA were the doom bringer 7th Sign, the fiendishly wicked Enraged Clown, the ruthless Al Capone, and the terrifyingly demented !Bloody ScaVenger.

Fright Night 1/16/3025  !BloodyScavenger

This friday night was absolutely frightening for a group of MAtRiX and two others.  The evening started out good for the four MAtRiX and the two solo pilots.  Everything was nice and calm.  They were practicing maneuvers, telling jokes, and really enjoying themselves.  But all that stopped the moment Hell OverLords !Bloody ScaVenger and Enraged Clown of the Apostles Of Carnage *EMA* entered the area.  All of a sudden, the mood changed from cheery to somber.  The six pilots had heard of the gruesome Gallery of Carnage in which the Apostles sometimes hang the remains of their kills.  The six feared that the Apostles sought to add their carcasses to the macabre Gallery.  Utter fear overcame them all. In a nervous and shaky voice, Maj A-Mode of MAtRiX ordered his three troops as well as the two independent pilots to all attack the two Apostles.  The six approached the Apostles in a combination of four assaults and two Catapult C1s.    With absolutely no fear, the Apostles stood side by side and awaited the onslaught.  !Bloody in his trusted Banshee 3S and Enraged Clown in his hellified Stalker 3F.  The two sides clashed.  PPCs, LRMs and AC/20s filled the air.  Metal was ripped, burned, and exploded.  But to the surprise of those on the MAtRiX side, it was their mechs being ripped, burned and exploded.  Foreseeing a horrible death was imminent, Cpl Luxor of MAtRiX hid behind a mountain and radioed for an immediate rescue.  By the time Luxor came out from behind the mountain, the two solo pilots were burning alive inside their decimated mechs.  His MAtRiX brothers were in grave danger.  Ltsg Cheerio had just managed to punch out moments before a barrage of PPCs destroyed his C1's *****pit.  Maj A-Mode, with his Atlas lying on its back severely damaged and with a blown gyro, struggled to get out before the Apostles closed in for the kill.  Luxor sprung from behind the mountain and helped Pvt Tuebor lay down suppressing fire to allow Cheerio and A-Mode to run and get cover behind the mountain.  The Apostles then disarmed Pvt. Tuebor's Banshee and turned their attention to Cpl. Luxor's Catapult which was untouched.  They hammered away at Luxor, but because of the damage they had sustained while neutralizing the other five mechs, the two Apostles didn't have the fire power to swiftly kill Luxor.  But Luxor was on his way to grim death when a MAtRiX heavy space cruiser ,that he radioed for earlier, moved in.  With their Mechs heavily damaged, the Apostles had no choice but to disappear into the darkness.  As a result, the cruiser was able to rescue Maj A-Mode, Ltsg Cheerio, Cpl Luxor, and Pvt. Tuebor.  Because of his pure luck, the Apostles dubbed Luxor as Lucky Luxiano and vowed that they would be there when Luxor's luck ran out.   

EMA polishes some brass  !BloodyScavenger

It was early Tuesday morning, January 6, in the GFH controlled sector of ViewPoint when a group of killers from the EMA convened. Their conversation was vehement and fiery.  It was clear that before sunrise, there would be several more persons in need of a funeral.  All of a sudden there was silence.  The next sound heard was the roar of an EMA FTL jumpship taking off.  The ship disappeared into the dark morning sky; heading for the Lyran Commonwealth. A couple of hours before sunrise, the EMA killers arrived in Carhar Park.  The target of their aggressions became clear--three high ranking officers from House Steiner.  The officers were chomping at the bit to engage the EMA.  In particular, they wanted to kill Overseer.  They were still angered because Overseer left their military to join GFH of the EMA.   The battle began with each side using only "ugly" mechs of the medium class.  Immediately, the Steiners began to prime Overseer as if he were an old gasoline-engine lawnmower.  It was clear that they would go to great lengths just to kill him.  At one point, one of the Steiners charged at the EMA all by himself in a Shadow-Hawk in a ludicrous attempt to kill the Overseer.  His attempt failed.  The final battle involved mechs from the assault class.  Again, the Steiners went all out to kill the Overseer.  But again, they were ruthlessly slaughtered.  The EMA polished off the Steiner brass in a sweeping 4-0 victory.  It is interesting to note, that for all their efforts, at no time did any of them manage to destroy the Overseer's mech.  This is testament to the powerful nature of the bloody EMA. As sun rise rose over Carhar Park, three of Steiner's high ranking officers were in need of a funeral.  These officers were, LtGen Smoke, HptGen Marlboro, and LtCol. Dragon.  The killers from the EMA were, the notorious !Bloody ScaVenger, the intensely deadly SmokeyBear, and,of course, the ominous Overseer.     

EMA, Strictly Representin  !BloodyScavenger

War broke out this past Saturday, January 3.  Able to smell war from miles away like a shark can smell blood in the water, the EMA wasted no time in converging on the area and throwing themselves into the fray.  The EMA originally entered the conflict under contract of Marik, but the house refused to pay the exorbitant fee demanded.  As a result, the EMA cut the throats of the financial negotiators sent by House Marik, stripped off the Marik Eagle insignia and vectored a course to the Federated Suns.  Reaching an agreement with Davion, the bloody EMA let slip the dogs of war.  The first encounter came in the form of the Smithson's Chinese Bandits (SCB) *M* at Guzman Park.  Looking through a pair of binovids at the enemy from base camp, Enraged Clown could see LtGen Destroyer (SCB) literally drooling. The LtGen had been wanting to get his hands around the neck of Enraged Clown ever since Clown participated in a Broken Helix project that was being run on SCB by Soldiers Of Doom.  This was LtGen Destroyer's chance to put an end to the fiendishly wicked Clown.  Or so he thought.  What the LtGen didn't realize was that this was Clown's chance to put an end to him.  The EMA stormed from base camp and crashed downed on the SCB forces. The SCB tried desperately to defend the territory that they had invaded.  They threw everything they had at the EMA, even the kitchen sink!  But it was all for nought.  When the smoke cleared, all that could be seen was twisted metal debris, burning *****pits with the pilots' corpses burned down to their skeletons, and a retreating dropship.  The EMA swept the SCB forces 3-0.  Fighting for the EMA were the notorious !Bloody ScaVenger, the fiendishly wicked Enraged Clown, the intensely deadly SmokeyBear, and the harbinger Black Knight.  Fighting for the SCB of Marik were LtGen Destroyer, Col. Fist N.S., LtCol Catch 22, and BrGen Fianna.  BrGen Fianna was the only  SCB to survive and escape.

After their victory over the SCB, the EMA were anxious to continue the carnage.  EMA Intel had reported that the Tolkien Walkers of the Dieudonne Military District (DMD) of Marik had a fortified stronghold near central Davion.  When the EMA arrived in the area, they discovered that had erected a perimeter defense force field.  In a matter of seconds, Enraged Clown and PsibrChild deciphered the frequency of the force field and disabled it.   was bewildered to see the crazed EMA barreling down upon them.  The most shaken of all were LtGen NewJerseyDevil and Col LordsEvil who just days before had barely managed to escape alive when they attempted to double team the EMA's SmokeyBear.  Now here again was SmokeyBear, but now he's brought along some of his killer EMA friends. Seeing two of their highest ranking officers gripped by paralyzing fear, the rest of the were overcome by fear as well.  The EMA was able to cut them all down effortlessly and swiftly 3-0.  Fighting for the EMA were !Bloody ScaVenger, Enraged Clown, SmokeyBear, and PsibrChild.  Fighting for were LtGen NewJerseyDevil, Col LordsEvil, Maj Gibby, and SgtMaj Puddy Tat.

Still craving carnage, the EMA searched for more Mariks to burn from Davion soil. They found the Armageddon Covenant (GGEDON) occupying the region in and around the Sortek Building.  The EMA invaded the area and let the carnage begin.  The fighting was fierce and brutal.  Both sides levied a great deal of damage to one another, but alas, maximum carnage was not achieved and GGEDON narrowly escaped destruction by 3-2 margin.  The EMA does not like to let kills slip through their hands.  You can be certain that the next time the EMA encounters the Armageddon Covenant, GGEDON will drown in the blood dimmed tide of fury.  Fighting for the EMA were !Bloody ScaVenger, SmokeyBear, Sharpe, and Hawk.  Fighting for GGEDON were Marik House XO Assassin, LtCol Catwoman, Voltaire, and Bashar.         

Steel Plague comes down with a bad case of Carnaphobia  !BloodyScavenger

In the late hours of Friday, January 2, a complex illness overcame several members of the Merc unit, Steel Plague. Symptoms of this illness included nausea, vomiting, blood dripping from the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth, severe paranoia marked by nightmarish visions of creatures from hell.  This complex illness is often brought about when people come into contact with the very dark and morbid nature exuded by the Apostles Of Carnage.  These people simply can't handle the intense aura of the Apostles.  The illness first appeared in the Dark Ages when the Acolytes and the ardent Apostles Of Carnage re-arose.  Back then it was known as the Curse Of Carnage.  More recently, doctors have termed it CarnaPhobia.  As a result of the epidemic of Carnaphobia throughout their merc unit, Steel Plague has left the EMA.  Currently, there is exists no cure for Carnaphobia.  Symptoms dissipate over time; that is, of course, if sufferers do not encounter the Apostles again.  But the affliction never totally leaves the person.  Persons may experience several more severe recurrences throughout their lifespan.  The Curse Of Carnage forever changes those it touches.  We, here at the EMA News Center, hope Gen. Prime and the Steel Plague mercs get well soon.  Or, at least,  as well as they can get under the cir*****stances.